STOP THE BLEEDING

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Build you up to break you down

So I thought I would change gears for this week’s blog post and do something a little more personal. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog for the last 2 months, then you have experienced a lot of my interests and things that I find helpful to those looking for comfort.  I’m sure though, you may be thinking, “Who is this person?” “ Why does she write this blog?”

Instead of spilling all of my guts and telling my whole life story at once, I’ll give you (my readers) little bits of me as time goes along.

Below I have listed my top (originally 10, but I added two) songs that comfort me when I get down and have my really black days.  The first five, are songs that will most likely break you down emotionally and the last five, will build you back up.  I won’t even explain them, I just hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Some of these are sad, some are just slower and more solemn but personally when I have bad days I enjoy listening to really intensely sad music while I cry and get all of my emotions out. Here are five of my many emotional escapes. (Some of the videos will not Embed on the blog, no matter how many different videos I post for them, it has something to do with their record label so clicking on the name will take you to them on youtube. :])

7. Avril Lavigne- Slipped Away

6. Idina Menzel and Lea Michele- I Dreamed a Dream (Glee)

5. Coldplay- Fix You

4. Robert Pattinson- Let me Sign

3. My Chemical Romance- Cancer


2. TLC – I Miss You

1. Adele- Chasing Pavements

To break up some of the length, I will post this in two pieces :]

I will post the last part first though so it will appear in order.

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Build you up to break you down: Pt. 2

The next five songs are more inspirational and uplifting. Once I have cried my eyes out and allowed my feelings to surface. I try and combat all of my bad thoughts with some happiness. These songs just put a smile on my face on those difficult days when smiling is the last thing on my mind.

[Just like the last post, some of these song UNFORTUNATELY won’t embed so just click the names to list on youtube if you’d like]

5. U2-Original of the Species
4. Kanye West- All of the Lights
3. P!nk- Funhouse

2. Lupe Fiasco- The Show Goes On

1.Noah Gunderson- Moss on a Rolling Stone (LIVE)

The quote I chose this week I stumbled up on in my English class, it was in a handout the teacher passed out. It resonated with me so much that I had to write it down.

“Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights but you can make your whole trip that way.” –E.L. Doctrow

It talks specifically about writing a novel but I really felt like this quote applies to life in general. If things seem dark and hopeless, sometimes we can only take it one day at a time, as far as our headlights, but eventually you will get home. Eventually you will see the end.

Self-injury.net: forum for empathy

Like I said previously, anything that I post on this blog, I hope to be a resource to those seeking help. While looking for sites and forums to add to my Google reader, I stumbled upon a discussion blog website called self-injury.net. The blog was started by a girl named Gabrielle who is a self mutilator herself.

“My name is Gabrielle and I am twenty-six years old. I hurt myself for nearly nine years. This website was made to let self-injurers know that they are not alone and to help their friends and family,” the site reads.

Anyone can join the site, but you can also post video, photos, literature, etc without joining the online
community. It’s just a place for those who seek some guidance and friendship can find it in those who have been there.

The saddest and most uplifting comment from the site was a reply to a post from a user NotQuiteNormal. The user was asking if anyone else has tried to commit suicide, as she has tried nine times since age 11. The reply, that resonated with me, was from an anonymous user.

“I’ve never tried, but it’s something that I think about,” the user wrote. “I know HOW I’d do it but I don’t think I ever could go through with it. The main thing that’s kept me from considering it too much is (and this is going to sound stupid) my 4-year-old kitty Trevor. He’s always there for me and I could never leave him. I’ve been told that when I leave for more than 3 days he get really depressed and spends all his time trying to find me. I just couldn’t do that to him. As long as he’s around life is worth living.”

The reply I guess really stuck with me because something so small as a cat, that can’t even speak and offer words of encouragement, can be the one thing that saves someone’s life. The one thing that keeps a person from going over the edge. That speaks a lot about the human condition and how all people ever want to feel is love. This also speaks to how much weight our words and actions hold with other people. You never know what others are going through and the difference a smile, hello or hug can make in someone’s day and life.

I am not, nor ever have been a cutter or have had issues with self injury however, 3 of my closest friends have been and it is painful for everyone involved. If someone has the guts to share their story with you, please be understanding.

To end my post, I thought I would share two youtube videos of some individual stories. The videos aren’t anything fancy, just photos and music but, these people were brave enough to open themselves up to the world and one even showed her face. I hope you enjoy and understand that without seeing and talking about the problem, it can never be fixed.

*WARNING-WARNING-WARNING* These videos may be trigger so PLEASE VIEW CAUTIOUSLY!

The last thing I want to do is cause any of my readers to relapse.